Ask The Ungrateful Adoptee

I've been asked a lot of questions; about my families, my personal story, my relationships, my friendships, et cetera. Since I'm not quote sure what specific information or opinion anyone is looking for, I thought I'd lay the floor open to questions.

Leave your question in the comments section. I'll answer when I can, if I can, if it's appropriate.

The Ungrateful Adoptee

Comments

Adoptive Parent Fragility (Again)

Because, yes, it does need to be addressed again, and this time in more general terms. ADOPTERS: Listen and listen well, because I have no intention of rewriting this blog again in Positive Adoption Language to suit your tender sensibilities. Firstly, allow me to reiterate a question from the previous incarnation of this blog. How do you expect to raise an adoptee when you can't even talk to one online? Really. Riddle me this, because I want to know. When we're little, it's easier. We don't snap back. We're content with the small proofs of love and permanence. Frankly, it's easier for us to believe and pretend, and that makes it easier for you. It allows you, for a time, to push it out of your mind. The questions are easier to answer. You get to sugar coat and leave things out. You get "Mommy, I love you" and gratitude. You get fits of insecurity, tantrums thrown out of fear or frustration. It happens to disenfranchised little people who have no

Living Adoption: At Peace, or Asshole?

Maybe you're "done with adoption". Maybe you're "at peace" with your adoptive issues. Maybe the abuses to our humanity, abuses that continue to be inflicted on children daily, don't bother you anymore. Maybe you've "forgiven" your perpetrators. Perhaps the percieved "negativity" and justified "anger" are now tiresome to you. Well, please accept apologies from the rest of us. We're sorry we didn't heal at your pace. We're sorrier still that we just aren't as enlightened as you are. Have you ever noticed that, cribmates? The ones who are "at peace", have "forgiven", and "choose happiness and positivity" are a bunch of superior assholes? Yes, they've "forgiven" those who wronged them. Yet they can't seem to help but belittle those who haven't or don't intend to. They're "at peace"; so much so, that they feel the need to scold everyon

The "Desire to Parent"

Probably the most problematic aspect of the adoption world. Your desire. Your "need" for a child. Your selfishness and entitlement, thinking you"deserve" one. You want one so badly you're willng to borrow against your assets, beg from strangers, and steal from expectant mothers. You're willing to pay tens of thousands of dollars to rent a womb or buy a newborn that is probably very much wanted by its mother. To pay to strip a child of its name and family, so you can paste yours in its place and play pretend. Because you want a child. Because you want to "be a parent". Because somewhere along the way, society (especially wealthy white christian society), convinced itself that parenthood is a panacea, a purpose, a path to fulfillment, a happy ending. The be-all, end-all of life. I've got news for you. Parenting isn't all love and hugs, some "grand adventure". Parenting isn't "a lifelong friendship with your child&q

The Ungrateful Adoptee II

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