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Showing posts from June, 2018

RAD Or Reality?

There is nothing wrong with me,  "Mom". Yeah, I call you "mom" for lack of a better understanding of who you are and what you've done to me. In the back of my head, however, I know that you are my mom in name only. I know I have another mom, a REAL mom, a mom who actually carried and birthed me, out there somewhere. And on some subconscious level, I know the love and loyalty you demand of me belongs to her. And on (perhaps the same) subconscious level, I know my feelings towards you are a betrayal to her. After all,  it is your pathological need to be a mother that perpetuates our separation. You could have put your adoption efforts toward supporting my broken family,  perhaps helping me have the life I truly belonged to. That wasn't on your agenda; I doubt the thought of helping my family ever crossed your mind.  So now you've got me. Congratulations.  While you are celebrating your accomplishment and patting your own back, I am suffering. You onl

Vent

"Just because you published a blog post about adoption,  doesn't mean you know anything about it." No it doesn't,  does it? How about the fact that I've published over 70, and I'm not done? Does THAT mean anything? I don't suppose the hundreds of studies, both scientific and not-scientific, that I've read? The books? The lectures by notables in the arenas of adoption, psychology, psychiatry, and sociology? The hundreds of blog posts written by adoptees, adoptive parents, and relinquishing parents? The endless hours spent in discussion or battle with these same parties? No,  of course not. Because taking in as much information as one can from all sides of an issue, and assembling one's opinion from one's interpretation of the compiled information is just stupid. Everyone knows that. OK,  so here's one for you. I've lived it since four months of age. I know all about developmental trauma because I have it.  I know all about complex PT

RAD Parents

"Today my son Devon is 16. He's very dangerous - violent towards adults and children, has suicide ideations, and causes thousands of dollars in property damage. Due to safety concerns, he's been unable to live at home for the last several years. He's angry, sad, and hurt. It's not what I dreamed of when I adopted him as a friendly, jabbering three-year-old with round cheeks and a bright smile."   Keri Williams, RAD Parent Blogger,  @raisingdevon https://fullmetried.com/2018/06/13/reactive-attachment-disorder-rad-the-essential-guide-for-parents No,  it certainly didn't live up to "your dreams", did it? It rarely does. After completely oversharing Devon's story, which is most of what her blog consists of, she continues, "My new book...". Ah, we come to the point.  She's written a book,  further exploiting the trauma she has helped to inflict on the child, I guess to teach other adopters how to be proper RAD parents. Since it se