The Ungrateful Adoptee II

Adoption is like a magnet to narcissists. While natural parenting is probably still preferable to narcissists, for some reason adoption seems have a particular appeal. I personally believe at least part of that appeal is to the narcissist's proclivity for pretending life is other than reality. I think the "as if born to", "blank slate", and "love makes a family" myths play a large part as well. We cannot disregard the narcissist's deep need for the "mirror mirror on the wall", and who better to push into that mirror than the random child one purchased who has "no" (known) "past"?  Especially once your ability to create your own little mirror resident has been removed? The possession factor of adoption particularly seems to appeal to narcissists. In my studies, I've learned most narcissists are collectors. My mother collected spoons, sheep  figures and linens, those fancy-ass blue and white dishes from Europe, and...

Being so far divorced from the experience of living adoption,  many Normies think it's appropriate to lecture or try to "teach" us about how it feels to be adopted. It's comical really, considering how far outside their capability for understanding the very idea of being adopted really is.  "But I have a friend who is adopted, and they're just fine!" I doubt that. I REALLY doubt that.  I always look "fine" on the outside too, even if you know me really well. Paul Sunderland can be quoted as saying something like,  "Adoptees can test off-the-charts depressed, and still smile,  laugh,  and function like they are "just fine"." It's absolutely true.  We are well-trained in the art of subverting our real feelings,  especially those about our adoptions.  I learned very early in life, as many adoptees do, that how I really felt was not only of absolutely no value,  but also unwanted and inappropriate. If I was unhappy, ...

I am adopted. Being adopted. Is adopted. Was adopted.  Adopted.  The word is divorced from what adoption really is,  what it means to live adoption. To have it manifest itself every moment, insinuate itself into your very consciousness.  I've been trying to boil it down into terms Normies can understand. And since what we are talking about is so incredibly foreign to anyone raised in the privilege of their own blood, it hasn't been easy finding words other than trite, over-used expressions that have already been rendered meaningless by repetition.  I thought maybe some meaningful, real world applications.  It's part of everything,  from the enormity of the concealment and denial of our identities (too big to process for a kept person, I understand), all the way down to something as small as looking across the breakfast table at your "mom", and thinking,  "She's not really my mom. I wonder what my real mom eats for breakfast?" Always accomp...